Sunday, December 23, 2007

Of grandpa's in general !!!

Hmm.....part of being in a vacation continues!!! yesterday I had to attend a fucntion meant for some old people.... I was forcefully taken inspite of many pleads and excuses i gave to my mom!!! And i got ripe there (pak gaya). however there was one moment things lightened up and i post it here.....

There was a anchor on stage whose duty was to announce the name of those people and they would come up on the stage.... he seemed to hav a list of adjectives viz; 'active' 'energetic' 'dynamic' 'athletic' 'dedicated' 'sincere' etc; etc; out of which he assigned nay two to a particular person.To one of them he assigned 'ACTIVE AND DYNAMIC'. You must have seen the expressiononthe face when someone in hte audience shouted 'ACTIVE AND DIABETIC'.

I have nothing against grandfathers but wuld like to mention them in this post !!! some common questions you got to face from them

Where are you studying?
This is a question you will be asked by the same grand uncle every time you approach him!!! thats how they start !!! I have answered this question about 52,134 times and 2,134 times to the same person!!!

How are studies there?
I want to tell them that they are spelled the same allover inida S-T-U-D-I-E-S..... but gotta answer everythin's well !!!

Which branch of engineering?
I answer mechanical engineering and here they give the expression that it is a untouchable branch..for them only ece and cse are the branches!! and the point i did gone so far to study is stressed more than that the college is an nit. true i couldnt get those branches but i dint even opt for electronics or electrical......I feel mechanical suits me.

Two more quetions yu got to face from them when you go to your frenz house !!!!!

Where is your home???
As soon as you answer this question you will be asked if that is your own home as if they are going to gift you one if it was rented !!!

Waht does your father do?
Huh?? Early morning yoga teacher!!! from 6 am to 9 am as neighbourhood doodhwala and paperwala then 9 am to 6 pm in a mnc and then from 6pm to 9pm as a rickshaw puller and then 9pm onwards night watchman!!!! Any problems????

Thats life in hols....with grand pa's.....They are mostly retired and spend hours wathcing and hearing news....To-be engineers will get a lot of suggestions and things like 'you should make the country proud'...there are a particular species who lecture on aim of havin a goal and the goal in having an aim and blah blah .... Duh!!! During cricket matches you will find critizisms showered upon....and if in a loosing match if a bowler earns a hard-earned wicket it is termed a 'fluke'

But belive me they got an immense experience.....and i mean the word immense!!!!

P.S : Love you frenz!!! i will be back to unlimitedness soon!!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Part of being in a vacation !!!

I dont usually go late to railway stations but this time I did and Thank god !!! Indian trains are late !!! I mean it. Thats the reason I could reach my home for the vacations. Like others even i would like to chip in with curses on indian trains !!! And what have i encountered ???

A monkey cap with perhaps a man inside (cant help it if the caps so so big)
A vendor with the face of a late-night-horror-show-orator selling 'samosas'
A beggar with a monkey trying to attract some animal-saver kind of individuals.

Now a days i dont feel pity at the beggars in the trains. dont know why ?? however pitiable thier condition is.... The only one that i would like to help is the one who calmly cleans the compartment and then sits still for a few minutes for alms...He even doesnt ask for them !!

And now a tribute to mothers :

  • If they werent there you would never be able to catch those early morning trains.
  • You must see the expression on her face when someone praises the food she cooks !!! Olympic winner !! (please do this frenz....makes her happy)
  • They are the one who make sure not twice but twelvice that u wouldnt drive above 40 on roads and go beyond a few meters at the beach.
  • They get desperate like hell when suddenly water supply ceases in the kitchen.
  • And you need to assure atleast a hundred times that you would not stand near the door on the train (when young it was not keeping hands outside the windows)

But I do stand at the door. Psst...she doesnt know how to scare me !! the threat that could drag me away is 'Dont stand there if u want your voter election card !!!' At the last elections i was just 17 or almost 16 and hence couldnt exercise my fundamental right !! now that i have crossed the so-called legal age i dont want to die before i vote ...atleast once.....*sigh* 18 As long as i can vote !!!

And now for grandmothers :

  • They get as desperate as mothers without water
  • They are so afraid of sitting on the back of a two-wheeler of their respective grand sons. And believe me i drive very slow (atleast when she sits) and god knows how grand ma of narain karthikeyan feels.
  • The only reason they agree to come to restaurants along with the whole family is to prove that they can cook the same recipe better than the 'restaurant wala'

*Sigh* Time to sign off !!! Lack of tiem you see !!! Limited internet at home !!!

P.S : This post took shape on a lousy train journey,....the same one which i catched by a whisker !!!!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

The 8 facts Tag!!

Hey !!! This is my 25th post !!! So, silver jubilleee And over it I'm tagged !!! My first ever tag!!! thanks to divya !!! Who after jus reading one post was kind enough to give me one !!!! (I am smiling like anything) !!!! Okay now tag business!!! Let me start with this pic, which i stole from some blogger's blog who forgot to put up copyscape and anti piracy thing....(I would hav stolen it even if it was there....) Now for the 8 facts !!!!

1. Well, A zahid is a zahid is a zahid !!!! No,No, i dont think i am unique....but just i remebered this quote sayin "You must always remember that you are unique, just like anyone else !!!" I feel very happy bloggin.... Previously i din have any well-defined hobby and had to think a lot when asked about my hobbies....Now i have a defined one!!!!! - blogging !!!

2. Music is always running *playlists enqueued and shuffle on*.....there are some plusses when u r not at home but living alone in your hostel room....I can always jump and go gaga whenever i like without shocking anyone.And i can dance madly whenever i want....*I think i dance good when alone*

3. My bed will have something to complain here...coz i never get off it...No, its not that i sleep for long hours...but i do everythin from studying to eating to almost anything.....the bed is placed in the room in such a fashion that sittin on it i can reach my cupboards, open the door and even engage on the comp. I even *generously* donated my chair alloted to me coz i nevr needed it !!!

4. I never copy in exams..dont know why.... In school i never even showed my answer sheet to however I show my sheet. When another fren of mine came and told how frustrated he was coz he too couldnt copy but all others get extra marks doing this - I felt we were the partners in crime !!!

5. And i hate those (menacing) poeple who pretend to be nice when you go to their homes by putting more rice and more and more mutton chicken paneer stuff...while in actual my tummys filled up....I cant waste food !! i dont like wasting it....but i do it everyday...cant help it...I never finish my plate at hostel !!!

6. And yes....I never promise to anyone because i cant break promises !!! there are some rules i follow and i dont know why i cant break them !!!!

7. And I will marry early in life....may be at 24 ...dunno but i think i need a good fren for life...I got many frenz but no good frenz...perhaps except one !!! *And i wont marry him otherwise they will cal me gay*

8. And i am not all that nice and honest.... I dont mind breaking some traffic rules... read pirated books and watch pirated movies.... stole white sheets from my school so that i could write on it.... remember havin pushed someone into sewage drain when i was 10 and and only once in thrice return if the shopkeeper gives extra change !!!!

Yipeeee!! I completed my first ever tag!!! And as soon as i post it, it will be enjoyment time and i will go back to going gaga and mad merriment... especially my exams being over!!!
And here i tag my frenz who havent had a tag yet too.... patchez manisha pallav somya sneha garima matty

P.S : And i feel so sad, i gotta go home for 2 weeks which means i cant update my blog as i got no net at home !!!!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Things people say !!!

When I sit down to right this post here..... There is a Glass between my eyes and Internet explorer 7.... Of course I am not talking about the computer monitor screen. But Just before my eyes. And I will remember this as the first post with my spectacles on !!!!

While bloggers around the world are getting TAGGED by one or the other, I got spectacled. *Grunt* (Yeah I havent been offered a tag yet!!! ). I din break this news in my house yet !!! Otherwise I would have been advised (ordered) to cut down my hours before my comp on the net!!!

And when my pals saw me after this metamorphosis d different reactions I received are :

  • You look good in the spectacles !!!
  • You dont look as good in spectacles !!!
  • You look like a scholar ( I Do ???) !!!!
  • You look like a comedian (Do I ???) !!!
  • The spectacles suit you !!!
  • You suit the spectacles *#%$!* !!!
  • You look grown up (married, they meant...*sigh* )!!!
  • You could have been better :) !!!
  • You could have been worse :( !!!
  • You look like shahid kapoor(does shahid look that good?)!!!
  • You look blindfolded !!!
  • Where is Zahid ???

Huff !!!! After answering questions of when , why and how and 'what is the power' and 'in which units' and 'positive or negative' I am now a bit relieved !!! Everyone has accepted it now!!!

Thank god!!! No one gave comments like these when at one point of time my voice changed!!!

  • This voice suits you !!!
  • The voice doesnt suit you !!!
  • You sound like a handicapped goat !!!
  • You sound like a teethless grandfather !!!
  • You sound like a second-hand gramophone !!!
  • Your voice seems to come from deep under the stomach (via liver, pancreas, spleen, oesophagus and then through the nose ) !!!
  • Your voice is same as Sonu Nigam's Dupe !!!
  • Your voice seems original now !!!
  • Why dont you try as a radio artist !!! (for Farmer Development channel)
  • Your voice seems like an unsynchronous dubbed movie!!!

P.S : My exams are going on !!!! And it feels very strange to study with specs on !!!! I dont mind those comments on my havin new specs!!! (of course as long as it goes well with that one girl I think i am in love with). And of course wish me good luck !!!!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Ad Festal ! ! !

Hmm...Advertisements, I like them a lot....Actually i like them a lot more than those dready serials. Actually when mom and grand mom watch those while dinner I pray for an Advt to relieve me.... And so would love to dedicate a blog on it !!!! Here go one good, one bad advt and two of my creations !!!!

The BEST'EST Advt:

A boy and a girl just get down a taxi and move towards the girl's house and the external voice says "dropping your girl friend house on a taxi- Rs.150/-"

The boy LEANS on the wall of the house and before parting asks the girl for a lip on lip kiss and the voice says "confidence to ask her for a kiss-1 peg of whisky- Rs.200/-"

The girl sheepishly reminds him of her father (by pointing) who was inside but the boy persists and the voice says "Asking the kiss in front of her own house -1 more peg of whisky -Another Rs.200/-"

And suddenly the mother comes out and tells the two lovers that father permits them to do whatever they want but to please stop LEANing on the doorbell (which had been ringing all this time) and the voice says "~~~~ Having a girl friend whose father has a sense of humour - PRICELESS ~~~~" And then ~~~"Money cant buy you everything.For everything else there is mastercard"~~~


A one page add is dedicated for a washing machine with the header as "now presenting a washing machine that can cook food"

And while in the few milliseconds before i see the picture below i think of science, technology and the possibility of how the drier part might also be a heating unit thus serving as a microwave oven....

Then I see the picture and there is a meek rice-cooker which is supposed to be free half hidden behind the washing machine. And worse more both the appliances have eyes and are blushing!!!

The picture one :

Self explanatory!!!

GOOGLE Advt on my blog:

I actually applied google ad sense whose terms and conditions included that it could put up any ad related to what i wrote and after my post-"Rats have nine lives too..!!!" what do i find??? The space was alloted to a rodent control organisation whose terms and conditions in turn included that rats were indeed the worst pests to have in the house but they arent responsible if the pests return 1 month from when they employ thier de-rodenting stuff.

My own Creations ! ! ! !

Advt 1: A man is shown to be eating the gutka-pan or manikchand or whatsoever and he has this bad habit of spitting anywhere and anytime. He sits in the train and spits outside the WINDOW of the train and that too carelessly much to the awkwardness of other passengers and the ire of his victims. And one day when he continues his habit of spitting, it gets reflected and the man is seen soiled by his own spit. The camera rotates and the voice says "SAINT GOBAIN GLASSES - so transparent and clear you cant see them"

Advt 2: A train vendor comes with toys all over him as if hez participating in a fancy dress competition. no one is fascinated except one boy who annoys his father to buy him... The father hesitates but finally not being able to see the glum face of his son, agrees. The toy was a jumping frog. the boy buys it and while playing with it, the frog jumps and runs away. And Later is shown to reach the vendor who is two compartments away and the external voice says "duracell- faithful, runs with more energy and for a longer time."

P.S-1: Dear saint gobain and duracell...Please do read this and you know what to do...Grab me in your service...I would love a marketing job after my graduation!!!

P.S-2: Would love more ideas in the comments section!!!

Monday, November 19, 2007

The lighter side

A record of what we call ' The lighter side '.

This is one of my favorite cartoons....
The other day I found my frends g-talk custom message with the words of a scientist-'charles darwin'.I couldnt resist chaffing him.

Me: Dude!! Is darwin still alive?
Him: No, I guess not.
Me: Was he very famous?
Him: No, but he devised the evolution theory and was the first one to find out about...
Me(cutting him short): Did he get a noble prize?
Him: errr..No
Me: Then why are we discussing him?
Him: But it was you.....#%$&*#......

The other day with my friend:
(while chatting with him, people were around ...)

Me : Dude!!! lemme just tell you next weeks viva is prephoned to tomorrow evening.
Him : 'f***'
Me: Dude!! people are watching...wouldnt be nice to use such things in public
Him: Whatz wrong dude!!!
Me: you use words like that and say .....
Him: hold it !! what do you think are these ***??
Me: obviously must be U-C-K
Him: No,.... bloody f***
Me: Then???
Him: I-S-H
Me: *!!!!*
Him: Why? shahrukh khan has used it in public, aint he?
Me: Yeah dude!! but why did you write those *'s ...couldnt u just use FISH
Him: Well, You see ...I am a vegetarian and usage of such eatable things is a ...
Me: you are a f***** Fish!!!!

shahrukh khan has reminded the teens all over india a new word to use instead of the regular 'Damn', 'Shit' and 'F***'. It is 'FISH' (*rmember OSO) .We are so well versed in using words or phrases borrowed form the films that we make it a daily use until something new pops up.(*remember 'Ghanta' used by arshad warsi in kabul express and on.....)

Life is such....

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

'Viva' Vs 'Om Saawariya Om'

Its very easy to screw your viva voce....especially if the night before, two blockbuster movies are being played back to back on your college video station, . Yes...I do mean Om shanti om and saawariya.

And let me tell you first about those two films...

Om shanti om :

Shahrukh khan proves that frenship is the ultimate thing and no one/nothing can exceed it....Of course not by jumping into fire to rescue deepika padukone but by acting in the film on farah khan's request. And the punch line of this movie is a lousy long heard sms 'If its not well, it is not the end'...which is then repeated again and again. Dunno farah khan wanted to make a spoof or a serious movie on reincarnation but she mixed up both and ultimately messed up the movie.

But do please watch this movie u can better unstand the lashing movie reveiws and also you can actively participate among your freinds when it is being made fun of and better your fren's perception of 'This scene was the height of all...'

But a fresh deepika padukone did wonders for the film, i believe.... A good actress and already the first crush of many teens and umpteenth crush of many other.....

P.S : Dear deepika padukone!!! I am not even a junior artist but i do really like you.I cant jump in the fire for you but yes I can help you from drowning by jumping in the water. (and if farah khan is even a millimicron right The whole world should be busy trying to fix us up in a love bond.)


Hear we have sanjay leela banshali back to his old ways... And whats with this song popping out every 10 minutes in the movie...Clearly he seemed to balance the void created by 'black'. And the son n daughter of two former son of greats did quite a good job in the film. But this time my wishes are not going to the heroine but the hero--Ranbir kapoor. what with his somewhat natural style of mischief and trying to be happy nature , I did like him.

And today finally (after having a tough time waking up early) when i went to viva with the bare minimum knowledge i could gather in the short remaining time, the professor was bent on making a hen out of me(remember murga banana)

#1 The idiot examines the whole report of mine and finally asks me to show the moulding machine in the report i'd written. Both of us knew that i dint draw it. Needless to say i couldnt show it and my excuse of 'couldnt find it in the reference book' did not go well with him.

#2 He somehow found a diagram without labelling in one corner and says 'I wont give you marks for this wont*with a satirical voice*..BAh!!! why the hell did i write that 40 page report missing one good night's sleep.

#3 He pours down a bunch of workshop tools in front and asks me to identify which is the reaming tool..Believe me most of the tools look alike and when i finally selected one tool he says it is wrong... And then he asks me to find another tool the sleeve and after analysing thoroughly for some time i give the correct answer, he says 'you took too much time' Great !&#! I thought and to the final question when i answered it right within the time limits he asks me what is it used for? BAh!! #uc& ....Hit with the hammer again!!!

Somehow I come out of this viva unhurt just to find out there is another viva tomorrow morning..So i think i realy gotta go now coz i dont want to screw that one also...

P.S : GOd give me strength *not to pass the viva* but to keep my eyes away from movies and songs atleat this one night.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

The Kolkata experience

When my fren praveen asked me if I would accompany him on saturday to calcutta....oops sorry 'kolkata' I decided I would. Afterall this was due for quite a long time. And it is a shame to tell others that I'd never been there while living so close to this metro city.

We had to board a train at 6 in the morning which meant we had to get up before 5 and catch the first bus. And that was a tough job because we din take any precautions (like sleeping early{early meant 1 AM}) the previous night. But I finally got up by snoozing the alarm just twice.
while waiting for the never on time train in durgapur station, we had a small talk:

Me: Hmm...God, why are we waiting like hell sacrificing sleep.
Him: Our lifez so boring na; We are jus another boys of another college.
Me: *nod my head and wait for him to continue*
Him: We are not a cracker in academics...leave it then..we can never be....But idiots we are we'd never gone to a disco never on a friendly day-out with special someones, no girl friends to talk on phone with...nothing.
Me: you got a point there....we will break some rules today..... why not flirt for fun with the girl over there. (I point her out sitting on the bench)
Him: See whoz beside her
Me: Is it difficult to flirt with someone when her fathers around
Him: damn yes....
Me : At that one then....
Him: See whoz beside her
Me: Is it difficult to flirt with someone when her brothers around
Him: Damn even difficult....He will know more easily that she is being flirted.
Me: you mean fathers are dumb
Him: No, but it will take them some time to realise coz./...
The train comes and our we are left at that coz she boarded an AC compartment and we remained jus another boys in the sleeper compartment

This itself made the city not all that beautiful as hyderabad.

And when I found a ragged family so busily occupied before the ATM that they wouldnt care to move to allow passers-by to reach upto it it made it even less beautiful.......(Here i dint feel pity at those poor people)

But there were some highs too...
Firstly the howrah bridge...

And then I unexpectedly met one of my frens near 'college street' which meant that it wasnt difficult to find someone in a city of over 1 crore population. That made me happy. *'Yes!!!'* (The Derek 'O Brein style) This raised my hopes of finding the girl i think i love from another small city with not more than 5 lakh population. God please dont disappoint me and prove yourself right when after such incidents i tell myself 'Itz a small round world'

And when we boarded the metro from Esplanade to Tollygunge, and back I could say the city was more beautiful underground.

And when i saw those age-old trams moving about with as much noise as a busy factory machine I actually liked them., those trams that could be boarded running even when at full speed, those trams on which people never footboarded coz no one even boarded,those trams.....

And after a jubiliant day when it was time to leave the city, I want to clearly mention that 'I did not shed a single tear'. Yes....and nor did my fren. So anybody from kolkata who read this post do not ...... Get emotional.

P.S : I wish i could write more on this city but have to go now......

Thursday, November 8, 2007

The angelic devil - 2 !!!

In the midst of a beautiful dream, I felt something moving. And it was me. And in a moment I awoke for that wretch(that is what I called her as soon as she woke me) shook me like I was a flowering tree that would knock off petals. I had not an iota of a feeling to get up. Moreover it was just 10 in the morning on a Sunday.

I warned her to be off but she persisted and you know how annoying it is to be shook vigorously in sleep. I got angry, said a few words and then jerked her which somehow hit her below the eye.

I will make it clear now that she wasn't injured but sure pretended I played a big part in that lil fight. By the way, lemme introduce her, she is one creature I knew one year less than myself and shares the same set of blood as I.

Somehow she built anger inside herself and now was unwilling to speak to me. I tried numerous ways to coax her to open her mouth but she was too rigid.
I got too nice. Even did my part of household chores myself. but no avail. Did even her part of work. No respite. Bought her new crunchy cashew dairymilk out of my pocket money. She ate it but no avail. Shared 51% of the custard mom made but no respite.

It was one week since she last spoke to me. It made me really sick. She wasn’t happy either. It was very hard for her not to speak with me, she tried to ignore me alone and be normal to everybody else but she just couldnt. What could I do to help not only myself but even my lil sis????

One night after dinner when we were about to sleep, she was warming up with a novel under her blanket. I was a few yards away on my bed. I felt like speaking. I knew she was listening to me though her eyes were immovable from the novel. I spoke….

“ You know dear… once told me that when the day you were born and she showed you to me, the first thing I did was to catch your fingers and it was then you opened your eyes for first time. And the first thing I spoke from my mouth was ‘Cheeni’… you remember you were called ‘cheeni’ when you were young. And when young I painted you and me on a white paper, which mom so liked that she preserved it with her to remind her of her two children. I love you dear and all those days…you remember the times we stole away the food left by the guests and ate them secretly under the bed. That crap kitten we adopted as pet before getting caught and being punished.

Now you aren’t speaking with me…Wish I could tell how I’m feeling… The only other time we dint speak was when you dint learn to speak….I….”

I dint know why but I stopped. Couldn’t continue. Was getting carried away really. And I could hear some sobbing nearby. Uff!! That idiot was so sentimental.

The next morning I again woke up to a wobble but this time very gentle and filled with love. She woke me this time 6 in the morning (okay!! Okay!! It was not a weekend). I somehow had a smile. She got a bit, what we say, emotional on my shoulder and even let out a few tears. It was difficult for me to produce crocodile tears. So just smiled.. but yes it was great to have her attention back.

While brushing our teeth, she asked me, doubtfully:

“Bhaiyya, I don’t remember When was it that we brought that kitten home?”

“sorry dear, I made up that part…coz I loved you….I am so happy you are again normal…. " (She is some how amused)
"I would like to Confess all the lies I told you in my life”

“???” (that was the expression on her face)

“Please don’t ask mother to show any painting drawn by me…coz I never painted a single thing in my life”

(She gives a very wild look at me)

“And Actually I dint see you one month till you were born. I was actually away at that time at grand ma’s house ”

(She throws a mug of water at me angrily..And I duck.,,.Ha Ha !!!)

“And Like every normal child my first words were not ‘cheeni’ but ‘mama’ and ‘papa’….…”

(Shez running after me with the broom stick….Help!!! Ouch!!! Help !!!)

" And i even remember having said i loved you "

But yipee....I am so happy i got her back.

P.S : This is a sequel to my previous post

'The angelic devil'

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Rats have nine lives too...!!!

This vacation when I went home, I had more than a family awaiting me. Let me show you the orkut profile of that creature

Name: Jerry- II (I kept it will soon know why)
Age : Eternal
Marital status : Ummm
..(Dunno it was real or an optical illusion but remember having seen two at a time in front of the mirror)

About me: A fun loving hole making nuisance creating mouse who simply loves to dwell in human arena

Fashion : naked
Pets : Plague bacteria
Living : In a hole

Wishlist: Cheese and chicken

Passions: Food
Sports : I love to play catch me if you can
Books: have bited through alchemist and john grisham
Tv shows: Tom and jerry
(runs around tv in prime time)
Career interests : Nibbling

Home address : Hole- 7,Under the sapota tree in the left corner of the garden.

Testimonials : Hez my best rodent frend. An adroit hole-maker….Can substitute a drilling m/c on bricks, He simply loves those home-made potato fry. A winner in running competitions. Hope you invade lots of houses....Urs Ratty.


Photos: included him with a big chunk of mayonnaised bread
Scrapbook: Err..(was filled with lots of leftovers)

Whoever said Cats had nine lives surely hadn’t researched on rats. Which I came to know during my 15 day stay at home.

The 9 lives:

Life 1 : My unkind mother flings the just washed plastic plate she held in her hand as soon as she first spotted the mouse. The mouse scurried away and poor mom had to wash the plate again.

Life 2 : This time, I spot it and luckily I even have a vegetable knife in my hand and I aim at the mouse again. Rat is too fast. I miss.

(Convinced that we are a family of poor archers we give up the idea of aiming and shooting.)

Life 3 : This time she manages a broom in her hand and thud!! Thudd!!. The rat has another escape.

(I take things into my hands now)

Life 4 : I sit ready with the broom waiting for the mouse to turn up and the moment I see I whack it and even hit it but What a Fool!!! I was…..I hit it with the soft corner of the broom and rat actually enjoys some tickling before it vanishes.

(I take pride in announcing that I finally hit it.)

Life 5 : This time I am ready with a sharp rod instead of a broom and wait. The rat comes and I whack and thud!! Oh..Oh..I knock off the mixer grinder.

(I am scolded and ordered out of the kitchen and blamed for the mess I’d caused. The rat has the last laugh)

Life 6 : I tamed the street cat and somehow dragged it towards the mouse hole only to make further mess of the garden. Either the cat was vegetarian or the stuff shown on tv is absolute crap. The rat continues a happy life.

Life 7 : Again, I take things into my stride. Being a mechanical engineer, I build a mouse trap with clamps wires and trusses and then leave it in the kitchen with a bait(leftover rice). I proudly wake up in the morning to find the cage intact and the rice gone.

(I am blamed for being such a poor engineer)

Life 8 : I get some rat poison and my mom makes all kinds of delicacies to tempt the rat. Even I was tempted....

Me : Mom, can I have one chicken chop.
Mom : No, that’s for the rat
(with a smile)
Me: At least one coconut sweet
Mom: No, that’s for the rat
(with an indignant smile)
Me: At least the left-over pakoda
Mom : No, Therz only one left and that’s for…..

I grew jealous of the mouse. Finally everything cooked and the poison was well mixed to give the rat its ‘Last Supper’. The whole thing is placed in the garden beside its abode.

The next day we find the rat still alive but the neighbours dog dead. If only dogs had nine lives too….. Alas!! The owner is still puzzled as to what killed the dog, the poor creature paid the price for no fault of its.

(Having seen what happened of the dog my mom was convinced that rat poison was the last resort for the pest)

Life 9: The whole process was repeated again and PRESTO!!! The rat is gone this time. I checked on all neighbours pets and even the street stray dogs,cats and goats. Everyone of those seemed alive and normal. Finally We lost the rat.

But I am utterly convinced that the rat is still alive but has just moved to new whereabouts. Actually I am not angry with the rat. It was actually a blessing in disguise….No, The holes did not reveal any ancestral treasure…… But it has given me activity during the holidays when I had nothing to engage myself in and even now when I have no food for thought to write my blog.

- - - - - - > Z a h ! d

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Hyderabad is a B'ful city !!!

Hyderabad is a beautiful city. Beautiful in all senses. And during one of my longest short halts in my state capital the weather was beautiful too, which made my stay all the more pleasant. Girls in hyderabad are equally nice too. Not only to look at but also to hear to. That unsophisticated and informal font of speech is truly attractive, I must admit.

I was in hyderabad for 4 days and on each day i could experience the sweetness of the city.

Day 1 : At the CHARMINAR cross-roads, an auto stopped to the call of a signal beside mine. A family was inside and so was a girl all clad in a purdah except her eyes which met mine, the whole one minute at the signal. The eyes were so gripping I could hardly escape them. I continued staring and suddenly it struck me. She could see the whole of me but i couldnt. I felt naked. And in a few seconds the two autos sped away in perpendicular directions. But why was she looking at me though???

Day 2 : This was actually inspiring. I got the chance to witness the happiest couple ever with an excellent chemistry dining right in front of me in Eat Street, mocking teasing chatting fighting flirting and flouting each other in the utmost informal hyderabadi style. I sat silently listening and craving for one such moment in my life.

Day 3 : This time I had a " Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Zahid!!!! Tum nahi samjhoge " on a beautiful girl in salwaar kameez and a scarf all around her head who was laughing and biting nails watching the show in salaar jang museum. I looked at her for 10 long minutes before suddenly she vanished and i was again left........

Day 4 : My days in hyderabad came to an end. It was time to leave and my unconfirmed waitlisted train ticket converted to an RAC and i had to share my seat with another beautiful hyderabadi girl, decently dressed. something told me that we'd met before. I couldnt recall where when or how. But we had a lil conversation.

Her: You came to visit hyderabad?
Me : yeah, in a way....You belong here?
Her : yes, but what did you see here?
Me: Tank bund, Lumbini park, Sunday market, Salar jung museum and also...
Her: You din see charminar?
Me : I did ya know?
Her : well, everyone does...must have cost you a lot on autos
Me: yes, but i took to bus ride mostly
Her: Hope you had a nice time
Me: I did...
(And then some regular questions like where r u going and who lives there....)

And that was the end...She got down at a stop before me but just before the train was about to depart she handed me a peice of paper that read:

'* Hi Zahid !!! You know one good thing about you... When you glance at women you dont stare at them, you look at them. Was nice to know you. hope we meet a third time too...*'

How did she know my name??..Ah the reservation chart. I rushed to see her name...umm...yes '#$(@'...such a sweet 4 letter name. And third time???? was this the second?? It dawned upon me...Was she the one I had one minute of eye contact on the first day. She was looking at me alright then. So was I. And that explains our conversation too....

Left stranded now with a peice of paper and the name of the its author and a city she once belonged......Hope we meet the third time, I wished.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The angelic devil !!!

I knew this creature, one year less than I knew myself…..She is the single most creature who shares the same set of blood as I. And when this creature returned from her music classes smiling all by herself and yet at the same time trying to hide it, I knew she would invade my time after dinner.

“Hey gruff….Things are happening pretty fast”.

She was a whiz at coining out new nick-names every other day. Not only did she dole out these words but she had her own sense of logic behind them. I have passed through chum, crank, prank, Socrates, flush, qwerty, magpie and many more…. and now it was Gruff!!!

“How fast? ”
“I don’t know….Just felt like saying….”
“Abt Music?”
“Music is love”
“I cant get u….be to the point dear!!!”

I was in no mood for telepathy but I cudn’t usher her away. Something told me that she needed me.

“Gruff!! I cant understand why or rather how”

So, she couldn’t tell me that in the eyes. So I took a newspaper and began to read it, waiting for more of her. Both of us knew that.

“Gruff! I guess I am in love.”

Any question of who, what or where he is would have made her reluctant to talk more. She came to me out of all others bcoz she knew I wouldn’t inquire but listen, and listen more than speak.

Slowly I lowered the news paper and started staring at her while she poured out her story. I had to be really careful that the stare wasn’t derisive. At the end, I was in a fix. Well, What did she expect of me now? Answering this was quite a challenge.

I dint know what to do……Alright!!! I managed to say I would love to meet him. And she got a smile on her face for this.

There was a sudden sense of closeness in those moments. And the sweet devil took benefit of this moment to delve into me. Slowly I found myself reciting my only love, I had successfully hidden from everybody all these years, to her and she was staring at me with the same élan. Something inside me told that it was a pretence but I was already in the trap.

Hours passed. It was two in the night. No notion to sleep. We sat down giggling.

Suddenly she says “Gruff!! I wasn’t in any kind of love. I dint know any such boy. And i even dint....”
“But you….”
“I made it all up…”
***she is hit with a pillow I threw upon her* **
“Just you wait, I will….”
***No use yelling, she is already down rolling and laughing* **

It would be silly if I claim not knowing any girl either. The worst part was that she knew enough about me now to blackmail me for a treat every other weekend at every other coffee corner. And her treats were damn expensive!!!!

I must have known this before. Can’t do anything now….Just that I will wait till the day she really finds someone and then be a merciless devil myself. But yeah!! She is my only sister. And such a sweet one too….. I must admit, It was a pleasure falling into her trap….. Just hope she isn’t too hard on my pocket - - - - The Angelic devil !!!

P.S : I don’t have a sister, But how I wish I had one !!! To fight, tease and share myself with !!!!

- - - - - - - > Z a H ! D

Saturday, October 6, 2007

My College Uncensored

I sat down to pen an article on…on what?? I dint know but I knew it was for ‘Deja vu’. Lemme tell you deja vu is my college's official magazine. So what do I write about our dear college…. Let me go branch wise….

Mechanical: The branch happiest with the placement ratio…Well, dint we always calculate mechanical efficiency higher than other efficiencies?

Electrical :
They are the optimists of our college. They mainly deal with the positive(+) side of things and say that the negative(-) end adjusts by itself.

Civil :
Strictly speaking this is the only branch that could actually develop the college. Why don’t we give them the hall renovation tender as the summer project?

Metallurgical :
Don’t ever think they have had too much of metals? Believe me!! They can strike gold anywhere & anytime and put the rest of us and our placements to shame.

We learnt every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Their life is filled with so many reactions, it must be worth learning what their actions were

Computers : To err is human and to blame it on the computer is even more so. That proves they are human but please somebody tell me how do humans get such high CGPA’s.

Electronics :
The other day they came up with a proposal ‘2 + 2 = 5 for larger values of the former’. Don’t understand how they made it but cant ignore it. After all they are the respective first seaters.

IT :
When computers were born people were afraid that they might start thinking as men. Now we are afraid that our intellects might begin to think like computers.

Bio-tech : Yet to be experimented and an infant stage branch of the college. Don’t new borns attract the maximum attention? Beware!! They might just walk away with the fattest packages next year.

- - - - - - - - > Z a H ! D

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Engineering Martyrdom

So much has happened, How do I sum up the whole of it in a few words? Starting with the Euphoria of India’s first ever world-cup win after my birth to witnessing one of the worst rains that lashed our college, it made a really busy week.

And to add salt to the wounds the platitude of classes fails to cease. Ufff…We want to say something but we never mention….Here’s the only chance to utter it all....

(Amongst the brouhaha we hear someone faintly shouting at the top of his voice)
Prof: Hello! Hello! (Strikes the duster)
will u let me take the class???
We: Well, actually no….it would be better if you depart the class accusing us of a bunch of fishmongers who aren’t one penny fit to be part of such an institute
(but we actually end up hushing each other until complete silence is achieved and then slowly start it all over again)


(In the class)
Prof: You! You! Stand up!! Did you understand?
I(wanted to): How would I?
I(had to do): Just give a nod
Prof: Tell me why the guide vanes are parallel and not perpendicular
I(wanted to): Firstly bcoz you said so and secondly bcoz you were told so and thirdly bcoz it was told by someone to your tolder that it was so..…
I(had to do): err….guides are well… vanes…so parallel and err….perpendicular….
Prof: Which portion dint you understand?
I(wanted to): All of it...what are guide vanes by the way
I(had to do): Just this last part!!!
(After explaining)
Prof: did u get it now?
I(wanted to): Grapes are sour no matter how many of them you have!!!
I(had to do): just give a nod


(In the labaratory)
Prof: Draw d line diagram and fix d job piece to the lathe machine and then come to me
(One hour passes….nothing is done…It is he who comes back and as he approaches)
One of us: God!!! He’s coming…look busy
Another of us: Gimme a pencil….fast
Yet another of us: Show him the last weeks drawing

Prof: (loosing patience) Not done yet!!! Fast, or I will put a zero to all of you…
(Yet another hour passes….. somehow something is connected and as he approaches)
One of us: God!!! He’s coming ….look busy
Another of us: Set in this direction…fast
Yet another of us: Show him whatever’s so far done
(Time is lucky…. He dint notice lateral feed wasn’t given and we end up with a modern shape of a hollow cylinder with all kinds of deformtities.....Alas he doesn’t appreciate that…)


(At the branch ceremony…..For a change there isnt a scorn on the prof’s face….As we all collect before the new gallery yet to be opened….well decorated and a ribbon infront…)

Prof(with elation): This department is as old as the first man born on earth and it has stayed firm over the years
…..(and on and on)
(we whisper…..)
One of us: He is such a pest!!!
Another of us: I am in no mood for a lecture
Yet another of us: When will the snacks be served?

Prof: Now let me officially inaugurate by cutting the ribbon
(We whisper)
One of us: He is such a pest!!!
Another of us: He prolongs everything!!!
Yet another of us: Just hope he doesn’t cut the ribbon lengthwise!!!

(Finally its over and we get some refreshments)


Just 1 ½ year left and I would have to leave them all….Engineering ain’t that pelting. All these incidents make sure it ain’t. And one day in the future we will look upon all these incidents and rue that it didnt last a lil longer......!
- - - - - - - - - - > Z a H i D

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Independence day chit-chat

INDIAN : Hello India! Happy 60th birthday!!!!! You have changed a lot. Don know for the better or for worse!!! But tell you something, we Indians love you the same as we once used to…

INDIA : Thank you…..

INDIAN : Hey !!! but why r u so melancholic?

INDIA : You better ask that to yourself, What does this diminishing population at the flag-hoist point to? Isn’t it a case of not respecting the Indian flag or the sacrifices of our fore-fathers?

INDIAN : No, Don’t mistake it for lack of patriotism but just that we have moved out of ‘learning from history’. We believe in contributing to Indian yield by means of seeking future. We are concentrating on increasing our own self worth, which will only augment the nation’s worth.

INDIA : You know something! I asked a few people what was so special about 15th august? An orphan boy knew nothing more than it gets him goodies he otherwise cudn’t afford. To another kindergarten girl it meant no-school.

INDIAN: They are children. When they grow up, they’d know. Also, My 5 year old neice was so excited that she asked me where you were celebrating your birthday. She wanted to attend the party.

INDIA: Grown ups are only happy if my birth date falls on Monday or Friday, so they can have a long weekend. No one is celebrating me as a festival. Its just another day. Where am I ? where is my flag? My symbol?

INDIAN: Would you be happier if we just had your map and flag spread all over the earth, sometimes being trampled by passers-by and trucks and not in the hearts?


INDIAN : Then….You cant disregard the Indian unity and its love for its fellow beings. You cant neglect the ETHICS QUOTIENT of your multi billion population. You would have seldom seen me not support you in the time of crisis. The Bhuj earth quake, the 7 wonder elections, Mumbai deluge, the cry foundation help, the conclaves each and everyone of them cite an example.

INDIA: I guess u're right....I was just being carried away by vague thoughts....

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

English is a funny language

English is a funny language. Very funny. All you Naresh’s, Nitin’s and Nirmala’s would remain the same with a ‘K’ before them. Knaresh Knitin and Knirmala……....... And Sagar’s, Sumit’s and Sneha’s would look much better with a ‘P’ prefix. Say Psagar Psumit and Psneha.

Hey !!! Did you know that individuality was the opposite of dividuality, just like independence, the opposite of dependence and inefficient the opposite of efficient. And now that we have started pretending we knew English, we are told that inflammable and flammable mean pretty much the same.

We don’t know why the lack of comfort is discomfort but, not being comfortable is uncomfortable. Dont be embarrassed when you are told ‘Take a seat’ doesn’t mean getting away with a chair but to accept it. I was left waiting when I tried to find the red in ‘red with anger’ and the green in ‘green with envy’.

English is delight. Sometimes you know nothing but you can manage and some other times, being an expert you aren’t at ease.

English has got a beauty inscribed inside it. It is such a language that no urban citizen nor a rural dweller can completely ignore it. May be coz we have had 400 years of British rule. Whatever language you speak, HINDI, TELUGU, TAMIL, BENGALI….You tend to mix English between. But if you want to speak in English alone you can.

But let English remain with all its funniness. Whatz life with nothing to tickle the funny bone? I don’t know why I feel english is the only language I’m accountable for. Homo sapiens!!!!! Accept and allow english to flow in your lives. Dont consider it alien.

-----------> Z a H i D

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Is it virtuous for the world to change?

What is a world ?
God’s curiosity of himself…..

What am I ?
My parents curiosity of themselves…..

# # #A few days ago, I went to the dwelling I was supposedly born. I meddled around the place. Beautiful bougainvilleas…Pink ‘n’ Orange …, the sweet smell of jasmine and the sylvan surroundings fascinated me. I was thinking of what had been here 19 years earlier, what changes besieged the place, what additional beauty was added and what portion of it subtracted.

The place was still undiluted. The now 3-storey building was a one-storey villa when I was born. I grew from my age and the building from its….

I changed…..

From dormancy to activation….
From those small eyes to large flirting ones….
From those pure thoughts to dirty n nasty ones….
From that white everything to that brown everything….
From those pink gums to 32 teeth, none of them white…
From that small boy with 5 little fingers to a 5’9” feet man….
From those bones that never seemed like bones to those that erect me….
From that neck that was barely visible to one with an Adam’s apple in….
From that tongue that never lied to a tongue that never hesitates to lie……

From ‘nothing’ to ‘A desire for everything’….

I have changed with the tons of air I breathed, with the gallons of water I consumed, with love , hatred and influence of thousands of fellow beings……..

The world has changed along with me……Why shouldn’t it?

It has circulated even many tons of air.
It has permeated even many gallons of water.
It has been swept through love and hatred of innumerous civilizations.

------> Z a h i d

Sunday, July 1, 2007

I'm single and I love my wife.

She was one girl who occupied considerable space of my diary, perhaps the maximum. I was so close to her that I could feel her breath on my cheeks and a few seconds later my lips touched hers. They were neither wet nor dry. They were neither being forwarded nor withdrawn. She stopped the blabbering she had been doing until then and sat motionless watching me, my eyes in particular and perhaps nothing else.

I collected her an hour ago at the road side restaurant where she was alone dejected and melancholic, with a cup of tea in her hand. She was silent then. I went to her just to say a casual hi. She needed someone to speak to. She gave a despondent smile and signaled me to come near. She was pretty adorable at that moment. I went to her. She ordered another tea for me. After a hot cup of tea, we started together for our places. I dint know the time until when she was allowed outside but I surely know that it isn’t 2 in the night. It was an unusual time for myself too but I decided to have a walk bcoz I was feelin it that way.

Half the way through our journey she was silent. Then she suddenly started yelling, without any connection to anything she had spoken earlier. She wasn’t drunk. Atleast I was sure of that. people dont get drunk with tea. I dint know if it was to grab attention or it was in compensation of what had been going through her. I dint know how to stop her. 2 in the night was very late for nonsense on the road. She dismissed all my attempts to calm her. Finally she sat on a rock under the neem tree but her speech dint stop. I moved towards her. At one moment I was so close to her that I could feel her breath on my cheeks and a few seconds later my lips touched hers. They were neither wet nor dry. They were neither being forwarded nor withdrawn. She stopped the blabbering she had been doing until then and sat motionless watching me, my eyes in particular and perhaps nothing else.

The rest of the journey she spoke softly and about a lot of things. I could relate to some of them. It was her brain that was killing her with useless thoughts. she was in a dilemma. she badly wanted to know what public picture she presented. She continued talking and I was there just listening to whatever she uttered and pretending as if I was considerate and finally when I left her near her place it was 5 in the morning. I never felt sleepy in her company.I dint know what she attempted to say, was it for me or for someone else? But that was the end of that encounter.

I knew her for quite some time. At one point of time I even had a crush on her. I dint know what but I was attracted to her. Perhaps I wanted her as a good friend. I never told her about this. Over the time I told myself that it was perhaps improbable. . She was sweet and amiable like always, so gentle and calm, and the way she spoke…….. I dint know it somehow made me happy. She still remains the only girl to have occupied the utmost space of my dairy. I don’t know how long I would be able to be in contact with her. May be it isnt love but it sure is something.............. something real sweet.

I can only hope that she is writing about me in her dairy this moment just the way I am..........