Sunday, September 27, 2009

How to Leave ??

When you start working, you will realise that 'A leave' is something that becomes as precious a commodity as water & electricity. Use very sparingly. And when you really need to have one, there are fewer than a few ways of getting them without any tricks.

#1 Donate Blood -
What you do - Sell blood to get a leave
Advantage - You get points for Social Responsibility
Disadvantage - You loose good amount of blood.

For those who are too afraid to be pierced with a needle, I'm sorry, Science is yet to find a method of transferring blood via BLUETOOTH.

#2 Fall Sick -
What you do - Pretend to fall sick
Advantage - You get free medicines out of company cost
Disadvantage - You could actually be fired for lying(if caught)

For those who are too naive to lie, Act fast before science finds it way into corporate houses, you could be caught lying on the phone through voice modulations.

#3 Have a baby
What you do - You know !!!
Advantage - (Optional) You get married.
Disadvantage - Works only for women.

Again a word of caution before trying this : Cross-check the family details your HR has and give at least one year gap between two consecutive such leaves.

#4 Get IOW(Injury on work)
What you do - Wait for a 5000 ton press to 'Nearly' fall on you/ 'Nearly' suck yourself in the compressor fan/ 'Nearly' manage the metal chips to cut you through/ etc etc;
Advantage - Straightforward - you can enjoy a leave of as long as a month
Disadvantage - You can do nothing much on a hospital bed, can you?

Again here, Not taking the word 'Nearly' seriously could prove to be Fatal.

Anybody has better ways of having a leave please do communicate.