Monday, May 16, 2011

Delhi - The tale of A Fine city

Delhi is a fine city. You get fined Rs.200 for spitting. However it doesn’t concern me. Seems I can afford it. The concern would be if everyone is able to afford it. The rising personal disposable income.

Adds a friend Visky: There is a fine of Rs. 200/- for smoking in Palika Bazaar and you know you can bargain everything here for 1/10th the price.

Delhi fines you Rs. 500/- for walking on the metro track. That is if you are caught alive. (Otherwise your legal heir receives a sum of Rs. 50,000/-) Considering a metro rail speeds at 100 kmph with a 2 minute frequency, I would be reporting Guinness for beating a bat at what it does best. Fines are no way to treat an aspiring Batman. Totally explains the sorry state of Indian Super-heroes who i believe have to pay hefty entertainment taxes too. To some extent also explains the sorry state of Indian Athletics.

Travelling over the roof attracts a fine of Rs. 50/-. Understood what LCC (Low cost countries) meant in the economics class. All, a bollywood director has to do is buy a smart card worth Rs.50/- each for the cast. Under 5000/- you have a pretty decent action shot/dance sequence as the (nonde)script demands. Totally explains why so many movies now-a-days have Delhi in their name. They all shifted base from the costlier Bombay.

Unauthorised graffiti (Assuming politician’s vote-me campaigns are authorised graffiti) will lead to imprisonment of 6 months. What is easier to get out of this mess. Unauthorised graffiti in a prison cell of course, where you can get away with a fine of Rs. 1000/-(Read Bail)

Gurgaon (Pronounced Grr..gaon) - Another fine city. Named after the Fine layer of dust that settles on your skin after a minute's walk. Buildings are tall and slender in the ratio of a 15 cm scale. In spite of the busy schedules people respect each other a lot here. But not so much to replace the tip of tongue Indian slang 'Teri...' with 'Aap ki...' followed by referrals to female blood relations.

People said public transport was worse than Tusshar kapoor movies prior to shor in the city. But it is so easy to get a lift here. People in Audi, Skoda and Mercedes stop and invite you in. The catch however is that they need a local person to guide them along in the annoyingly confusing roads. Don't worry if you are not a haryanvi. Who doubts as long as you speak Hindi with a sense of temper.

Wake up One fine morning to catch the early bird and the lazy worm. Delhi is so fine before the sunshine - that is before you get an overdose of Vitamin D. The remaining vitamins you easily gather over a voracious meal in Old Delhi. Delhi makes a fine dine. (Btw Gurgaon doesn't)

Fine. I stop the whine. I have no complaints. I am only :) at all the places I visited in my first ever visit to the national capital. Delhi keeps me well engrossed in the 9 week stay otherwise dominated by .xlsx and .pptx. Three more weeks before I can tag an album The Fine Nine.


Visky said...

Rs. 200 FINE for smoking in asia's oldest retail market... Where the bargaining is in the scale of [1:10:your capabilty] ;)

Zahid said...

Rofl Visky. Bargaining fine also at Palika !!!

Prachi said...

ooooh ...... someone isn't fine in this fine city... tumhari shakal dekhke kaunsa ajeeb sa fine laga diya bhai tumpe?


Zahid said...

Im perfectly fine in Delhi. Not in Gurgaon. Shakal dekhi kahan kisine... Bas helmet dekh ke fine laga diya motor bike pe for not wearing a seat belt.


thats smaller version of CHALO DILLI..

carry on with ur writing .. :)

Zahid said...

Thanks Eashan. Yet to watch Chalo Dilli though. Heard it was good.

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