The angelic devil !!!

I knew this creature, one year less than I knew myself…..She is the single most creature who shares the same set of blood as I. And when this creature returned from her music classes smiling all by herself and yet at the same time trying to hide it, I knew she would invade my time after dinner.

“Hey gruff….Things are happening pretty fast”.

She was a whiz at coining out new nick-names every other day. Not only did she dole out these words but she had her own sense of logic behind them. I have passed through chum, crank, prank, Socrates, flush, qwerty, magpie and many more…. and now it was Gruff!!!

“How fast? ”
“I don’t know….Just felt like saying….”
“Abt Music?”
“Music is love”
“I cant get u….be to the point dear!!!”

I was in no mood for telepathy but I cudn’t usher her away. Something told me that she needed me.

“Gruff!! I cant understand why or rather how”

So, she couldn’t tell me that in the eyes. So I took a newspaper and began to read it, waiting for more of her. Both of us knew that.

“Gruff! I guess I am in love.”

Any question of who, what or where he is would have made her reluctant to talk more. She came to me out of all others bcoz she knew I wouldn’t inquire but listen, and listen more than speak.


Slowly I lowered the news paper and started staring at her while she poured out her story. I had to be really careful that the stare wasn’t derisive. At the end, I was in a fix. Well, What did she expect of me now? Answering this was quite a challenge.

I dint know what to do……Alright!!! I managed to say I would love to meet him. And she got a smile on her face for this.

There was a sudden sense of closeness in those moments. And the sweet devil took benefit of this moment to delve into me. Slowly I found myself reciting my only love, I had successfully hidden from everybody all these years, to her and she was staring at me with the same élan. Something inside me told that it was a pretence but I was already in the trap.

Hours passed. It was two in the night. No notion to sleep. We sat down giggling.

Suddenly she says “Gruff!! I wasn’t in any kind of love. I dint know any such boy. And i even dint....”
“But you….”
“I made it all up…”
***she is hit with a pillow I threw upon her* **
“Just you wait, I will….”
***No use yelling, she is already down rolling and laughing* **

It would be silly if I claim not knowing any girl either. The worst part was that she knew enough about me now to blackmail me for a treat every other weekend at every other coffee corner. And her treats were damn expensive!!!!

I must have known this before. Can’t do anything now….Just that I will wait till the day she really finds someone and then be a merciless devil myself. But yeah!! She is my only sister. And such a sweet one too….. I must admit, It was a pleasure falling into her trap….. Just hope she isn’t too hard on my pocket - - - - The Angelic devil !!!

P.S : I don’t have a sister, But how I wish I had one !!! To fight, tease and share myself with !!!!

- - - - - - - > Z a H ! D

My College Uncensored

I sat down to pen an article on…on what?? I dint know but I knew it was for ‘Deja vu’. Lemme tell you deja vu is my college's official magazine. So what do I write about our dear college…. Let me go branch wise….

Mechanical: The branch happiest with the placement ratio…Well, dint we always calculate mechanical efficiency higher than other efficiencies?

Electrical : They are the optimists of our college. They mainly deal with the positive(+) side of things and say that the negative(-) end adjusts by itself.

Civil : Strictly speaking this is the only branch that could actually develop the college. Why don’t we give them the hall renovation tender as the summer project?

Metallurgical : Don’t ever think they have had too much of metals? Believe me!! They can strike gold anywhere & anytime and put the rest of us and our placements to shame.

Chemical: We learnt every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Their life is filled with so many reactions, it must be worth learning what their actions were

Computers : To err is human and to blame it on the computer is even more so. That proves they are human but please somebody tell me how do humans get such high CGPA’s.

Electronics : The other day they came up with a proposal ‘2 + 2 = 5 for larger values of the former’. Don’t understand how they made it but cant ignore it. After all they are the respective first seaters.

IT : When computers were born people were afraid that they might start thinking as men. Now we are afraid that our intellects might begin to think like computers.

Bio-tech : Yet to be experimented and an infant stage branch of the college. Don’t new borns attract the maximum attention? Beware!! They might just walk away with the fattest packages next year.

- - - - - - - - > Z a H ! D

Engineering Martyrdom

So much has happened, How do I sum up the whole of it in a few words? Starting with the Euphoria of India’s first ever world-cup win after my birth to witnessing one of the worst rains that lashed our college, it made a really busy week.

And to add salt to the wounds the platitude of classes fails to cease. Ufff…We want to say something but we never mention….Here’s the only chance to utter it all....

#####

(Amongst the brouhaha we hear someone faintly shouting at the top of his voice)
Prof: Hello! Hello! (Strikes the duster) will u let me take the class???
We: Well, actually no….it would be better if you depart the class accusing us of a bunch of fishmongers who aren’t one penny fit to be part of such an institute
(but we actually end up hushing each other until complete silence is achieved and then slowly start it all over again)


#####

(In the class)
Prof: You! You! Stand up!! Did you understand?
I(wanted to): How would I?
I(had to do): Just give a nod
Prof: Tell me why the guide vanes are parallel and not perpendicular
I(wanted to): Firstly bcoz you said so and secondly bcoz you were told so and thirdly bcoz it was told by someone to your tolder that it was so..…
I(had to do): err….guides are well… vanes…so parallel and err….perpendicular….
Prof: Which portion dint you understand?
I(wanted to): All of it...what are guide vanes by the way
I(had to do): Just this last part!!!
(After explaining)
Prof: did u get it now?
I(wanted to): Grapes are sour no matter how many of them you have!!!
I(had to do): just give a nod


#####

(In the labaratory)

Prof: Draw d line diagram and fix d job piece to the lathe machine and then come to me
(One hour passes….nothing is done…It is he who comes back and as he approaches)
One of us: God!!! He’s coming…look busy
Another of us: Gimme a pencil….fast
Yet another of us: Show him the last weeks drawing

Prof: (loosing patience) Not done yet!!! Fast, or I will put a zero to all of you…
(Yet another hour passes….. somehow something is connected and as he approaches)
One of us: God!!! He’s coming ….look busy
Another of us: Set in this direction…fast
Yet another of us: Show him whatever’s so far done

(Time is lucky…. He dint notice lateral feed wasn’t given and we end up with a modern shape of a hollow cylinder with all kinds of deformtities.....Alas he doesn’t appreciate that…)


#####


(At the branch ceremony…..For a change there isnt a scorn on the prof’s face….As we all collect before the new gallery yet to be opened….well decorated and a ribbon infront…)

Prof(with elation): This department is as old as the first man born on earth and it has stayed firm over the years…..(and on and on)
(we whisper…..)
One of us: He is such a pest!!!
Another of us: I am in no mood for a lecture
Yet another of us: When will the snacks be served?

Prof: Now let me officially inaugurate by cutting the ribbon
(We whisper)
One of us: He is such a pest!!!
Another of us: He prolongs everything!!!
Yet another of us: Just hope he doesn’t cut the ribbon lengthwise!!!

(Finally its over and we get some refreshments)

#####

Just 1 ½ year left and I would have to leave them all….Engineering ain’t that pelting. All these incidents make sure it ain’t. And one day in the future we will look upon all these incidents and rue that it didnt last a lil longer......!

- - - - - - - - - - > Z a H i D

Independence day chit-chat

INDIAN : Hello India! Happy 60th birthday!!!!! You have changed a lot. Don know for the better or for worse!!! But tell you something, we Indians love you the same as we once used to…

INDIA : Thank you…..

INDIAN : Hey !!! but why r u so melancholic?

INDIA : You better ask that to yourself, What does this diminishing population at the flag-hoist point to? Isn’t it a case of not respecting the Indian flag or the sacrifices of our fore-fathers?

INDIAN : No, Don’t mistake it for lack of patriotism but just that we have moved out of ‘learning from history’. We believe in contributing to Indian yield by means of seeking future. We are concentrating on increasing our own self worth, which will only augment the nation’s worth.

INDIA : You know something! I asked a few people what was so special about 15th august? An orphan boy knew nothing more than it gets him goodies he otherwise cudn’t afford. To another kindergarten girl it meant no-school.

INDIAN: They are children. When they grow up, they’d know. Also, My 5 year old neice was so excited that she asked me where you were celebrating your birthday. She wanted to attend the party.

INDIA: Grown ups are only happy if my birth date falls on Monday or Friday, so they can have a long weekend. No one is celebrating me as a festival. Its just another day. Where am I ? where is my flag? My symbol?


INDIAN: Would you be happier if we just had your map and flag spread all over the earth, sometimes being trampled by passers-by and trucks and not in the hearts?

INDIA: No….

INDIAN : Then….You cant disregard the Indian unity and its love for its fellow beings. You cant neglect the ETHICS QUOTIENT of your multi billion population. You would have seldom seen me not support you in the time of crisis. The Bhuj earth quake, the 7 wonder elections, Mumbai deluge, the cry foundation help, the conclaves each and everyone of them cite an example.

INDIA: I guess u're right....I was just being carried away by vague thoughts....

English is a funny language

English is a funny language. Very funny. All you Naresh’s, Nitin’s and Nirmala’s would remain the same with a ‘K’ before them. Knaresh Knitin and Knirmala……....... And Sagar’s, Sumit’s and Sneha’s would look much better with a ‘P’ prefix. Say Psagar Psumit and Psneha.

Hey !!! Did you know that individuality was the opposite of dividuality, just like independence, the opposite of dependence and inefficient the opposite of efficient. And now that we have started pretending we knew English, we are told that inflammable and flammable mean pretty much the same.

We don’t know why the lack of comfort is discomfort but, not being comfortable is uncomfortable. Dont be embarrassed when you are told ‘Take a seat’ doesn’t mean getting away with a chair but to accept it. I was left waiting when I tried to find the red in ‘red with anger’ and the green in ‘green with envy’.

English is delight. Sometimes you know nothing but you can manage and some other times, being an expert you aren’t at ease.

English has got a beauty inscribed inside it. It is such a language that no urban citizen nor a rural dweller can completely ignore it. May be coz we have had 400 years of British rule. Whatever language you speak, HINDI, TELUGU, TAMIL, BENGALI….You tend to mix English between. But if you want to speak in English alone you can.

But let English remain with all its funniness. Whatz life with nothing to tickle the funny bone? I don’t know why I feel english is the only language I’m accountable for. Homo sapiens!!!!! Accept and allow english to flow in your lives. Dont consider it alien.

-----------> Z a H i D