Sunday, September 27, 2009

How to Leave ??

When you start working, you will realise that 'A leave' is something that becomes as precious a commodity as water & electricity. Use very sparingly. And when you really need to have one, there are fewer than a few ways of getting them without any tricks.



#1 Donate Blood -
What you do - Sell blood to get a leave
Advantage - You get points for Social Responsibility
Disadvantage - You loose good amount of blood.



For those who are too afraid to be pierced with a needle, I'm sorry, Science is yet to find a method of transferring blood via BLUETOOTH.



#2 Fall Sick -
What you do - Pretend to fall sick
Advantage - You get free medicines out of company cost
Disadvantage - You could actually be fired for lying(if caught)


For those who are too naive to lie, Act fast before science finds it way into corporate houses, you could be caught lying on the phone through voice modulations.



#3 Have a baby
What you do - You know !!!
Advantage - (Optional) You get married.
Disadvantage - Works only for women.


Again a word of caution before trying this : Cross-check the family details your HR has and give at least one year gap between two consecutive such leaves.



#4 Get IOW(Injury on work)
What you do - Wait for a 5000 ton press to 'Nearly' fall on you/ 'Nearly' suck yourself in the compressor fan/ 'Nearly' manage the metal chips to cut you through/ etc etc;
Advantage - Straightforward - you can enjoy a leave of as long as a month
Disadvantage - You can do nothing much on a hospital bed, can you?


Again here, Not taking the word 'Nearly' seriously could prove to be Fatal.




Anybody has better ways of having a leave please do communicate.

7 comments:

Quaintzy Patchez said...

I do have a better way... not that its easy. Get a government job.

Lena said...

I used #2 today :P

AVINASH said...

Work From Home :P... My company has that option which can be taken for 2 days in a week !!!!!......:D :D How does that sound??

Start a revolution in your company .. Take the initiative and make it happen in yours :P (even i know it can;t be done !!)

silverine said...

Prtend you have HiNi. HR will tell you to stay home at company cost!

AVINASH said...

Don't even need to pretend H1N1.. Keep on sneezing for 2 days in a row... That's it.. Your manager is gonna plead you, request you, demand you to stay home.. :D

zahid said...

@patchez

My friends in a govt job say the thing we assume is actually a myth... Dont know if they are lying...

@lena

#2 is the #1 choice of many

@avinash

Sadly this isnt an IT firm or otherwise i would have tried this revolution..No operator can work at his house and produce trucks. He has to come to the plant :(

@silverine

Yes...Corollary of #2 and very effective for today's times... There is some new flu always available to us. People in mumbai and pune must be making merry.

@avinash again

Sadly if i pretend that i would be the first person doing it in this part of the country and hence HR is going to have a really suspicious look.

Savio said...

Real good one!!!