Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Is it virtuous for the world to change?

What is a world ?
God’s curiosity of himself…..

What am I ?
My parents curiosity of themselves…..

# # #A few days ago, I went to the dwelling I was supposedly born. I meddled around the place. Beautiful bougainvilleas…Pink ‘n’ Orange …, the sweet smell of jasmine and the sylvan surroundings fascinated me. I was thinking of what had been here 19 years earlier, what changes besieged the place, what additional beauty was added and what portion of it subtracted.

The place was still undiluted. The now 3-storey building was a one-storey villa when I was born. I grew from my age and the building from its….

I changed…..

From dormancy to activation….
From those small eyes to large flirting ones….
From those pure thoughts to dirty n nasty ones….
From that white everything to that brown everything….
From those pink gums to 32 teeth, none of them white…
From that small boy with 5 little fingers to a 5’9” feet man….
From those bones that never seemed like bones to those that erect me….
From that neck that was barely visible to one with an Adam’s apple in….
From that tongue that never lied to a tongue that never hesitates to lie……

From ‘nothing’ to ‘A desire for everything’….


I have changed with the tons of air I breathed, with the gallons of water I consumed, with love , hatred and influence of thousands of fellow beings……..


The world has changed along with me……Why shouldn’t it?


It has circulated even many tons of air.
It has permeated even many gallons of water.
It has been swept through love and hatred of innumerous civilizations.

------> Z a h i d


Sunday, July 1, 2007

I'm single and I love my wife.

She was one girl who occupied considerable space of my diary, perhaps the maximum. I was so close to her that I could feel her breath on my cheeks and a few seconds later my lips touched hers. They were neither wet nor dry. They were neither being forwarded nor withdrawn. She stopped the blabbering she had been doing until then and sat motionless watching me, my eyes in particular and perhaps nothing else.



I collected her an hour ago at the road side restaurant where she was alone dejected and melancholic, with a cup of tea in her hand. She was silent then. I went to her just to say a casual hi. She needed someone to speak to. She gave a despondent smile and signaled me to come near. She was pretty adorable at that moment. I went to her. She ordered another tea for me. After a hot cup of tea, we started together for our places. I dint know the time until when she was allowed outside but I surely know that it isn’t 2 in the night. It was an unusual time for myself too but I decided to have a walk bcoz I was feelin it that way.


Half the way through our journey she was silent. Then she suddenly started yelling, without any connection to anything she had spoken earlier. She wasn’t drunk. Atleast I was sure of that. people dont get drunk with tea. I dint know if it was to grab attention or it was in compensation of what had been going through her. I dint know how to stop her. 2 in the night was very late for nonsense on the road. She dismissed all my attempts to calm her. Finally she sat on a rock under the neem tree but her speech dint stop. I moved towards her. At one moment I was so close to her that I could feel her breath on my cheeks and a few seconds later my lips touched hers. They were neither wet nor dry. They were neither being forwarded nor withdrawn. She stopped the blabbering she had been doing until then and sat motionless watching me, my eyes in particular and perhaps nothing else.



The rest of the journey she spoke softly and about a lot of things. I could relate to some of them. It was her brain that was killing her with useless thoughts. she was in a dilemma. she badly wanted to know what public picture she presented. She continued talking and I was there just listening to whatever she uttered and pretending as if I was considerate and finally when I left her near her place it was 5 in the morning. I never felt sleepy in her company.I dint know what she attempted to say, was it for me or for someone else? But that was the end of that encounter.




I knew her for quite some time. At one point of time I even had a crush on her. I dint know what but I was attracted to her. Perhaps I wanted her as a good friend. I never told her about this. Over the time I told myself that it was perhaps improbable. . She was sweet and amiable like always, so gentle and calm, and the way she spoke…….. I dint know it somehow made me happy. She still remains the only girl to have occupied the utmost space of my dairy. I don’t know how long I would be able to be in contact with her. May be it isnt love but it sure is something.............. something real sweet.



I can only hope that she is writing about me in her dairy this moment just the way I am..........