Engineering Martyrdom

So much has happened, How do I sum up the whole of it in a few words? Starting with the Euphoria of India’s first ever world-cup win after my birth to witnessing one of the worst rains that lashed our college, it made a really busy week.

And to add salt to the wounds the platitude of classes fails to cease. Ufff…We want to say something but we never mention….Here’s the only chance to utter it all....

#####

(Amongst the brouhaha we hear someone faintly shouting at the top of his voice)
Prof: Hello! Hello! (Strikes the duster) will u let me take the class???
We: Well, actually no….it would be better if you depart the class accusing us of a bunch of fishmongers who aren’t one penny fit to be part of such an institute
(but we actually end up hushing each other until complete silence is achieved and then slowly start it all over again)


#####

(In the class)
Prof: You! You! Stand up!! Did you understand?
I(wanted to): How would I?
I(had to do): Just give a nod
Prof: Tell me why the guide vanes are parallel and not perpendicular
I(wanted to): Firstly bcoz you said so and secondly bcoz you were told so and thirdly bcoz it was told by someone to your tolder that it was so..…
I(had to do): err….guides are well… vanes…so parallel and err….perpendicular….
Prof: Which portion dint you understand?
I(wanted to): All of it...what are guide vanes by the way
I(had to do): Just this last part!!!
(After explaining)
Prof: did u get it now?
I(wanted to): Grapes are sour no matter how many of them you have!!!
I(had to do): just give a nod


#####

(In the labaratory)

Prof: Draw d line diagram and fix d job piece to the lathe machine and then come to me
(One hour passes….nothing is done…It is he who comes back and as he approaches)
One of us: God!!! He’s coming…look busy
Another of us: Gimme a pencil….fast
Yet another of us: Show him the last weeks drawing

Prof: (loosing patience) Not done yet!!! Fast, or I will put a zero to all of you…
(Yet another hour passes….. somehow something is connected and as he approaches)
One of us: God!!! He’s coming ….look busy
Another of us: Set in this direction…fast
Yet another of us: Show him whatever’s so far done

(Time is lucky…. He dint notice lateral feed wasn’t given and we end up with a modern shape of a hollow cylinder with all kinds of deformtities.....Alas he doesn’t appreciate that…)


#####


(At the branch ceremony…..For a change there isnt a scorn on the prof’s face….As we all collect before the new gallery yet to be opened….well decorated and a ribbon infront…)

Prof(with elation): This department is as old as the first man born on earth and it has stayed firm over the years…..(and on and on)
(we whisper…..)
One of us: He is such a pest!!!
Another of us: I am in no mood for a lecture
Yet another of us: When will the snacks be served?

Prof: Now let me officially inaugurate by cutting the ribbon
(We whisper)
One of us: He is such a pest!!!
Another of us: He prolongs everything!!!
Yet another of us: Just hope he doesn’t cut the ribbon lengthwise!!!

(Finally its over and we get some refreshments)

#####

Just 1 ½ year left and I would have to leave them all….Engineering ain’t that pelting. All these incidents make sure it ain’t. And one day in the future we will look upon all these incidents and rue that it didnt last a lil longer......!

- - - - - - - - - - > Z a H i D

Independence day chit-chat

INDIAN : Hello India! Happy 60th birthday!!!!! You have changed a lot. Don know for the better or for worse!!! But tell you something, we Indians love you the same as we once used to…

INDIA : Thank you…..

INDIAN : Hey !!! but why r u so melancholic?

INDIA : You better ask that to yourself, What does this diminishing population at the flag-hoist point to? Isn’t it a case of not respecting the Indian flag or the sacrifices of our fore-fathers?

INDIAN : No, Don’t mistake it for lack of patriotism but just that we have moved out of ‘learning from history’. We believe in contributing to Indian yield by means of seeking future. We are concentrating on increasing our own self worth, which will only augment the nation’s worth.

INDIA : You know something! I asked a few people what was so special about 15th august? An orphan boy knew nothing more than it gets him goodies he otherwise cudn’t afford. To another kindergarten girl it meant no-school.

INDIAN: They are children. When they grow up, they’d know. Also, My 5 year old neice was so excited that she asked me where you were celebrating your birthday. She wanted to attend the party.

INDIA: Grown ups are only happy if my birth date falls on Monday or Friday, so they can have a long weekend. No one is celebrating me as a festival. Its just another day. Where am I ? where is my flag? My symbol?


INDIAN: Would you be happier if we just had your map and flag spread all over the earth, sometimes being trampled by passers-by and trucks and not in the hearts?

INDIA: No….

INDIAN : Then….You cant disregard the Indian unity and its love for its fellow beings. You cant neglect the ETHICS QUOTIENT of your multi billion population. You would have seldom seen me not support you in the time of crisis. The Bhuj earth quake, the 7 wonder elections, Mumbai deluge, the cry foundation help, the conclaves each and everyone of them cite an example.

INDIA: I guess u're right....I was just being carried away by vague thoughts....

English is a funny language

English is a funny language. Very funny. All you Naresh’s, Nitin’s and Nirmala’s would remain the same with a ‘K’ before them. Knaresh Knitin and Knirmala……....... And Sagar’s, Sumit’s and Sneha’s would look much better with a ‘P’ prefix. Say Psagar Psumit and Psneha.

Hey !!! Did you know that individuality was the opposite of dividuality, just like independence, the opposite of dependence and inefficient the opposite of efficient. And now that we have started pretending we knew English, we are told that inflammable and flammable mean pretty much the same.

We don’t know why the lack of comfort is discomfort but, not being comfortable is uncomfortable. Dont be embarrassed when you are told ‘Take a seat’ doesn’t mean getting away with a chair but to accept it. I was left waiting when I tried to find the red in ‘red with anger’ and the green in ‘green with envy’.

English is delight. Sometimes you know nothing but you can manage and some other times, being an expert you aren’t at ease.

English has got a beauty inscribed inside it. It is such a language that no urban citizen nor a rural dweller can completely ignore it. May be coz we have had 400 years of British rule. Whatever language you speak, HINDI, TELUGU, TAMIL, BENGALI….You tend to mix English between. But if you want to speak in English alone you can.

But let English remain with all its funniness. Whatz life with nothing to tickle the funny bone? I don’t know why I feel english is the only language I’m accountable for. Homo sapiens!!!!! Accept and allow english to flow in your lives. Dont consider it alien.

-----------> Z a H i D

Is it virtuous for the world to change?

What is a world ?
God’s curiosity of himself…..

What am I ?
My parents curiosity of themselves…..

# # #A few days ago, I went to the dwelling I was supposedly born. I meddled around the place. Beautiful bougainvilleas…Pink ‘n’ Orange …, the sweet smell of jasmine and the sylvan surroundings fascinated me. I was thinking of what had been here 19 years earlier, what changes besieged the place, what additional beauty was added and what portion of it subtracted.

The place was still undiluted. The now 3-storey building was a one-storey villa when I was born. I grew from my age and the building from its….

I changed…..

From dormancy to activation….
From those small eyes to large flirting ones….
From those pure thoughts to dirty n nasty ones….
From that white everything to that brown everything….
From those pink gums to 32 teeth, none of them white…
From that small boy with 5 little fingers to a 5’9” feet man….
From those bones that never seemed like bones to those that erect me….
From that neck that was barely visible to one with an Adam’s apple in….
From that tongue that never lied to a tongue that never hesitates to lie……

From ‘nothing’ to ‘A desire for everything’….

I have changed with the tons of air I breathed, with the gallons of water I consumed, with love , hatred and influence of thousands of fellow beings……..

The world has changed along with me……Why shouldn’t it?

It has circulated even many tons of air.
It has permeated even many gallons of water.
It has been swept through love and hatred of innumerous civilizations.

------> Z a h i d

I'm single and I love my wife.

She was one girl who occupied considerable space of my diary, perhaps the maximum. I was so close to her that I could feel her breath on my cheeks and a few seconds later my lips touched hers. They were neither wet nor dry. They were neither being forwarded nor withdrawn. She stopped the blabbering she had been doing until then and sat motionless watching me, my eyes in particular and perhaps nothing else.

I collected her an hour ago at the road side restaurant where she was alone dejected and melancholic, with a cup of tea in her hand. She was silent then. I went to her just to say a casual hi. She needed someone to speak to. She gave a despondent smile and signaled me to come near. She was pretty adorable at that moment. I went to her. She ordered another tea for me. After a hot cup of tea, we started together for our places. I dint know the time until when she was allowed outside but I surely know that it isn’t 2 in the night. It was an unusual time for myself too but I decided to have a walk bcoz I was feelin it that way.


Half the way through our journey she was silent. Then she suddenly started yelling, without any connection to anything she had spoken earlier. She wasn’t drunk. Atleast I was sure of that. people dont get drunk with tea. I dint know if it was to grab attention or it was in compensation of what had been going through her. I dint know how to stop her. 2 in the night was very late for nonsense on the road. She dismissed all my attempts to calm her. Finally she sat on a rock under the neem tree but her speech dint stop. I moved towards her. At one moment I was so close to her that I could feel her breath on my cheeks and a few seconds later my lips touched hers. They were neither wet nor dry. They were neither being forwarded nor withdrawn. She stopped the blabbering she had been doing until then and sat motionless watching me, my eyes in particular and perhaps nothing else.

The rest of the journey she spoke softly and about a lot of things. I could relate to some of them. It was her brain that was killing her with useless thoughts. she was in a dilemma. she badly wanted to know what public picture she presented. She continued talking and I was there just listening to whatever she uttered and pretending as if I was considerate and finally when I left her near her place it was 5 in the morning. I never felt sleepy in her company.I dint know what she attempted to say, was it for me or for someone else? But that was the end of that encounter.

I knew her for quite some time. At one point of time I even had a crush on her. I dint know what but I was attracted to her. Perhaps I wanted her as a good friend. I never told her about this. Over the time I told myself that it was perhaps improbable. . She was sweet and amiable like always, so gentle and calm, and the way she spoke…….. I dint know it somehow made me happy. She still remains the only girl to have occupied the utmost space of my dairy. I don’t know how long I would be able to be in contact with her. May be it isnt love but it sure is something.............. something real sweet.



I can only hope that she is writing about me in her dairy this moment just the way I am..........